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I just found out my husband has been having an affair and it is not the first. How to cope.
My husband and I have been together since I was 16 and I am now 23. We have been married for a year and a half. We had some problems last year and he moved out for awhile. Whilst he was living away from our property, he started sleeping with someone else. Although it hurt me more than anything else on this planet, I forgave him. However things didn't feel right and it was always a struggle.

I have just found out he has been sleeping with someone else for the last month. She is about 15 years older than him with 2 kids to different partners. She lives about an hour away from us and they are already planning on getting a house together in the same town as I now live. He moved out just a week ago but obviously he was still sleeping in my bed when he was playing away. Her children are already calling him Daddy and I know (through facebook) that she already calls him "her future husband".

I am no longer "friends" with him on facebook but some of my friends are so they have gather circumstantial evidence against him for adultery. All I have seen is them writing to each other saying how much they love each other, how they can't wait to live together and be a proper family.

This makes me sick to the stomach. I cannot understand why he did this to me and our marriage. I am absolutely heartbroken beyond anything I ever thought possible. It breaks my soul and tears me apart.

Although a part of me hates his guts, another part of me is incredibly sad. I feel such a great loss in heart because he is all I have ever known, all I ever wanted and I miss who he used to be. I do not know how to overcome these feelings. I want to be strong and know that I am better off without him but I have no idea where the hell to start.

I have been making sure I have plenty of things planned with my family and friends but when I am home alone, I cry a lot. There is nothing in the house of his anymore because he took everything with him but I can't seem to stop thinking about our memories. It consumes me from the minute I woke my eyes to the moment I close them again. Even then I am haunted by horrific nightmares.

If anyone has any words of advice or similar stories, I would really appreciate it.

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Commented By: John On: 01-03-2011

You married young, and he grew apart. I'm so sorry for your loss .. the love loss, the faith in him, the trust you lost . . know all guys are not like him.

The best advice . . Don't get even . . get ahead. Live life to the fullest, be happy with a better person, be sucessfull and "BE The Best Thing" he screwed up and lost.


Good Luck


Commented By: tina On: 14-02-2011

I feel sorry for you. The worst pain is the pain of your beloved cheating on you. I pray that you come out of this.

Just talk to him and get this straight. Tell him to choose between you and her. And if he chooses her then let him and go start your life afresh. Just be single for couple of years, do not get into relationship just for the sake of it.

Eventually you will find peace and happiness in what you do.

May GOD give you strength.

Commented By: Rana On: 17-09-2011

Just one word..Go ahead....

findout some one else for ur life n strong enough n self standing....

Commented By: Abhijit On: 23-06-2011

Nothing is lost! Cheer-up!! If you are 23 your hubby should be around 24-28 and he has fallen for a women 15 yrs older to him, i.e. she is around 40 yrs & mother of two kids.

Prima facae he has gone to her for two things- Lust, sleeping with her is pure lust nothing else as she is more experienced...& Change of companionship (having the company of two children & their Mom) I dont think there is any LOVE there...?

I doubt he loves her the way he loves you becoz both of you know each other  from infatuation to love & then marriage which speaks a lot for relationship & bondage!

Today u r 23 max 24? Remember u r a very strong women....U have ur whole life ahead of u...look ahead.....

 U have three options-

1. If he has not divorced u ...then you may wait for him to return & cry, sulk & go into depression...


2.Find another partner....... give an ad in the paper, or who knows some tall dark handsome guy may walk into your life...? If u r working ...then maybe from your office or near abouts...?


3. Stay single for few years take up a job  & develop a hobby......time is the best not lose faith in God...pray to him he'll give you a solution....only problem is he is too busy..... hence it may take some time...

Always remember LUST is temporary whereas LOVE is permanent! 

God bless you!

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