- MEDIA RELEASE -From the International Cricket Council For immediate release(especially in India)

The ICC have announced several changes to the playing conditions for the forthcoming 3rd test in Perth between Australia and India.
These changes include:
* India must win.
* The umpires shall be nominated by the Indian team. It will be acceptable if reserve Indian players rotate as umpires.
* During the game all appeals shall be referred to the Indian management team and the Indian media contingent prior to any decision being made.(This includes where an Indian player may appear to the naked eye that they have been bowled.)
* When the Indian team is batting the boundary rope shall be moved inwards 20 metres.
* Australian bowlers shall bowl under arm.
* India must win.
* Any time Ricky Ponting is on the field he shall be restrained in a full length strait jacket and muzzled.
* Any Australian spin bowler must advise the batsman in advance what type of delivery is going to be bowled.
* At any time Andrew Symons is on the field he must wear a gorilla suit and accept any sledging in the light hearted manner that this is intended.
* India must win.
* Harbhajan Singh will be cleared on appeal and be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
* Indian batsman may be permitted to use larger bats.
* Australian batsmen may use a bat every fifth over.
* Australian fieldsman should praise every batting attempt by the Indians by saying "Good shot chaps." Apart from the Australian players that are not permitted to speak.
* During the lunch and tea break both teams shall get together and have a cup of tea.
* India must win.

The ICC and the BCCI hope that all Australians will understand these minor changes are intended in the best interest of the game.

The ICC would also like to announce that Steve Bucknor has been appointed as the ICC's new cricketing ambassador to Kazikstan. The ICC wishes Steve all the best in this important, newly created role.

RIP International Cricket.

It seems to be a BIG Joke. Aussies are crumbling. LOL! Come on Chak De India.[/color]
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On a seriuos note, I think,
The perth test match will be an interesting one. Indians have gained lot of sympathy afte the Sydney test. I feel Aussies will be under lot of pressure and India has good chance of winning it.

What you feel?

Hi

   I just want to say the match result is decided by match fixing.......no one can tail what is going to happen.

 

(1)    Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.

 

(2)    While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

 

(3)    While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

 

(4)    UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

 

(5)    All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

 

(6)    MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

 

(7)    NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

 

(    THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - “THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET” more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

 
These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA



And guess wat...u cannot question Pontings Integrity...

"Punter, Punter”
“Yes, Papa”
“Eating sugar?”
“No, Papa”
“Telling Lies?”
“No, Papa”
“Open your mouth”
“I think if you are actually questioning my integrity ..., you should not be standing here.”